Well the time finally came for me to come out of my little love bubble and go back into the ‘real’ world again.
spent wasted a lot of my precious time while on maternity leave worrying about how I was going to manage going back to work. Simple things like getting the boys changed, dressed, fed and out the door consumed my thoughts during the day and often were my last anxious thoughts at night. I worried what time I would have to get up at in the morning to get everyone out the door on time.
Let’s face it I could barely make it in time for the school drop off most mornings as it was, and I hadn’t even dressed the boys or gave them breakfast. Instead we were used to our own little routine, slow as it was, we were in no real rush for anything. The kids were very used to having me at home all the time, they just took it for granted that I would always be there when they needed/wanted me to be.
A BIG Change
So going back to work was going to be a big change for us all. Max started creche the week before I started back. He was really unsettled which made me feel awful. He wanted his momma and the comfort of his beloved boob – technically my boob but his main love in life!
The week before I went back I used it as a trial run, it was the second week in January and my girls were back at school. I timed it all really well, but still struggled.
Of course on my very first day back at work I was super early. That lasted all of a day and then it got harder and harder to be on time let alone early. As time went on Max grew more unsettled in creche as he soon caught on to the drill when I left him there.
A month in and he has settled in well to the routine of the crèche, but he understands once he gets into the baby room that I am going to leave him and he clings onto me for dear life. I try to distract him, the leaders in the room try to distract him. This could go on for nearly 10 minutes until I just have to go, despite his cries. I always wait outside the door – the guilt stopping me in my tracks – until a few short seconds when he realises I’m gone, he just stops crying and gets on with playing until I come back.
The second I get back in through the crèche door, even if he is asleep, he wakes up and his whole little body goes straight as a board. I have no option but to give him a feed on the sofa and only then will he relax and becomes his usual happy, mischievous little self!
Luckily I love my job! I’ve always loved writing since I was little making up stories and winning awards at school for it. I’ve always known writing is what I wanted to do, especially for a magazine! And now I do!
I worked hard at uni with ten month old Cora in tow, which wasn’t always easy, but we did it!
After I got my English degree I did a few media training courses one with the BBC and did my NVQ4 in Journalsim with 5 month old baby Eve. It wasn’t easy but I have got there into end.
At the minute it only makes sense to work part time as anymore than that and I wouldn’t be able to afford the crèche fees and it fits in well with life at our house at the minute. I can still collect Eve from school and get stuck into her homework and it means I’m only away from Max for a few hours a day, which is so important to me and to Max as he is still breastfeeding so needs me a little more right now.
I love how my job is so different from day to day. One day I could be meeting a person who is ill, another I could be at a big event, meeting with groups of people or sitting in somebody’s home while they share their story with me.
I feel privileged to get to know so many people, often sharing experiences where they have been at their most vulnerable and trusting me to write about it sensitively, yet convey their message. I also have lots of laughs with the people I work with and meet, it’s so fun and lovely most of the time.
Although the constant deadlines can be stressful and I like to make sure my work is the best I can possibly do which means I don’t like to rush it.
So far it’s going good and my editor has been easing me in gently!